I lately shared one in all my most susceptible tales on the Empowering Ladies and Ladies to Thrive Summit on the United Nations about suicide prevention, to assist finish the stigma of suicidal ideas and promote extra loving compassion and acceptance.
This transformational occasion was supporting Sustainable Developmental Aim #5: “to attain gender equality and empower all ladies and ladies.”
The occasion deliberately featured ladies audio system from totally different walks of life, representing numerous backgrounds, ethnicities, ages, and talents, with the frequent goal of providing options to world points ladies and ladies face.
I labored as a speaker coach and story strategist with every speaker at this summit, guiding them to deal with the transformation they wished to encourage and ignite within the viewers.
Every speaker used my S.T.O.R.Y. System for Transformational Storytelling, an impressed approach I’ve been utilizing for nearly twenty years in my very own storytelling and my speaker and creator teaching applications, and that I educate at conferences, companies, and organizations that wish to make a distinction and create significant change.
Ben Dotsei Malor, Chief Editor on the UN Information, addressed us as a visitor of honor, and attendees got here from a number of states in the USA and totally different international locations, together with Panama, Nigeria, Ghana, England, and Canada.
As an immigrant and naturalized citizen of the USA, it was humbling to be honored with The Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award, accompanied by an official letter from the workplace of The President of the USA, a certificates, pin, and medallion.
I’m so grateful to be acknowledged for my efforts in fulfilling my mission to assist leaders harness the facility of storytelling to empower others to interrupt cycles, discover peace, and really feel complete — at properties, workplaces, and the world. Storytelling performs an integral half in suicide prevention.
After the occasion, all of the audio system and the President’s Volunteer Service Award honorees had been featured on a billboard in Instances Sq..
Now I’m going to share the transcript of my United Nations speech about suicide prevention with you. My discuss was designed to assist anybody who has struggled or is presently combating suicidal ideas, similar to I’ve.
Suicide is everybody’s downside and we are able to all have interaction in prevention efforts by studying to change into a SAFE individual to so lots of these round us who’re struggling in silence.
My United Nations Speech Transcript
I’m executed.
I can’t do that anymore.
That is simply an excessive amount of.
What’s the purpose?
Everybody’s higher off with out me.
I’m higher off lifeless.
I used to be mendacity in mattress sleepless, wanting up on the rusted tin ceiling, when these ideas confirmed up uninvited. I used to be solely 5 years outdated. They usually’ve by no means left me – all the time insisting that I’m a dwelling mistake making errors.
Ultimately, these ideas turned energetic, once I began to go searching and fantasize about artistic ways in which would get the job executed.
The primary time I acted on these ideas, I used to be 13.
Mendacity within the hospital room, the primary individual I noticed once I got here again to consciousness mentioned to me:
“Oh you’re alive…you possibly can’t even do that proper.”
Now, I do know right here on the United Nations, I’m surrounded by individuals who purpose to empower others to thrive. You’re most likely pondering – I might by no means say such hurtful phrases to somebody who’s in a lot ache.
I imagine you.
And but … Most individuals don’t know what to say… so that they’d reasonably not discuss it…
For instance, once I inform others I’m a most cancers survivor, their faces gentle up. They ask follow-up questions and virtually bounce for pleasure.
In distinction, once I share I’m a multiple-time suicide survivor, there’s shock … and silence… adopted up by a change of topic.
Or they use default – and lethal- phrases like:
- Don’t hand over
- It can get higher
- Or one thing alongside the traces of “be grateful,” “rely your blessings,” “select pleasure,” or “take a look at the brighter aspect of life…”
What I’ve realized by way of dwelling over 4 a long time with each passive and energetic suicidal ideas as my most loyal companions is that positivity is gasoline to the stigma of suicidality.
It makes us fallacious for one thing that isn’t our fault and since what others advocate or prescribe doesn’t work for us, it reinforces the sensation that we’re damaged and that we’re alone.
Feeling unable to “positively assume it or pray it away” provides to our sense of defeat.
That’s why – for years- I lived trapped in my shame-induced solitary confinement,– typically obsessively in search of a remedy, typically desperately in search of a weapon.
Suicide is the second main reason for dying for youngsters, adolescents, and younger adults worldwide. It’s pressing, it’s frequent, it may occur to anybody – it’s a world human issue- and it’s everybody’s downside…
One individual dies by suicide each 40 seconds – and plenty of suicides are preventable.
As a result of proof proves that trauma doesn’t come from experiencing adversity, however from feeling alone in our damage.
In my analysis, I’ve confirmed what I discovered in my lived experiences: The way in which we discuss suicide makes it troublesome to succeed in out for assist.
The phrases we use matter. And selecting respectful language round suicide helps us change into protected individuals.
Repeat after me: SAFE individuals SAVE individuals.
By studying to be a protected individual, we are able to take away the stigma round suicidal ideas, lower the suicide price, and assist individuals keep alive, as a result of they now not really feel like they need to endure in secret.
I’m sharing 3 straightforward tips to decriminalize and destigmatize the phrase suicide and the expertise of suicide:
- Let’s keep away from the phrase commit. We aren’t criminals or sinners – we’re lonely, afraid, and feeling like suicide is essentially the most viable answer to seemingly unsolvable issues and insufferable ache.
- Let’s ban the phrase try: Staying alive just isn’t a failure, and let’s not ever suggest that suicide is successful.
- Let’s cease speaking about taking a life or killing oneself: the insinuations that we’re not pondering of others or that we don’t worth our lives are ignorant, inaccurate, and even insensitive.
Some useful options may be:
- dying by suicide
- suicide contemplation
- and looking for to finish one’s ache.
As a speaker, advocate, and creator, I encourage individuals to make use of my acronym SAVE to keep away from toxic positivity when somebody shares their ache:
S– Keep calm
A– Attentively hear
V– Validate their expertise
E– Categorical gratitude for his or her vulnerability
You don’t need to be a psychological well being knowledgeable to make a distinction. Holding area alone may be life-saving. You may be with somebody by way of their proverbial bridge till skilled assist comes. Saying the proper phrases may also help them search and entry the proper instruments, assets, and security plans.
My invitation to you is: Subsequent time some shares they’re going by way of a tough time, don’t be constructive, be current.
Be certain that they get a loud blaring message from you: “Your ache is legitimate, and it issues to me. You aren’t alone.” This protects lives – as a result of SAFE individuals SAVE individuals.
And to those that, like me, face these ideas sooner or later at a time, I share my agency witness … it’s okay to bop with dying, simply be sure you take the lead. Blessings!
I used to be so moved by the feedback I obtained from the viewers whereas talking on the occasion and after.
Listed here are some that stood out to me and that had been revealed on shops like ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, the CW, and Human Rights At present, in addition to different distinguished worldwide information shops throughout Asia, Africa, and Latin America, together with my beloved homeland, the Dominican Republic:
“I used to be hospitalized as soon as as a consequence of suicidal ideation and dangerous conduct 17 years in the past and I’m deeply into the message Dr. Fernández conveyed right now. Very highly effective phrases.”
“Dr. Elayna’s speech was a couple of powerful topic dealing with so many members of society. Her private expertise was shared with susceptible honesty.”
“Elayna presents highly effective recommendation on coping with these considering suicide. Highly effective!”
“WOW! I’m grateful to Dr. Elayna for serving to individuals learn to assist people who find themselves struggling. I like that she shared easy tips to de-stigmatize suicide. Sage phrases!!!”
“Dr. Fernández’s discuss made me really feel a lot disappointment and in addition a lot hope. I’ve a number of family and friends members who battle with suicidal ideas and her discuss helped me see that there are methods I may also help them with out inflicting extra ache which I used to be afraid of doing. Her discuss gave straightforward ideas and issues to do to assist our family members really feel supported throughout these scary occasions.”
“Her speech made me really feel seen and understood. Addressing the methods we may also help these combating these ideas by way of Elayna’s options might be life-changing. Unforgettable!”
“Dr. Elayna Fernández is a victorious girl championing the way in which for individuals to grasp stigmas linked with suicide, offers individuals permission to now not endure in silence, and teaches us how one can be a protected and supporting individual. She is a dwelling instance for us all.”
“Dr. Elayna Fernandez’s speech was not solely inspiring but in addition deeply informative. By her steering on the proper strategies of aiding others, she empowered us to change into SAFE people and actively work in direction of saving lives.”
“Elayna’s discuss stopped me in my tracks and made me mirror deeply on a previous dialog with a pal who wanted a protected individual to speak in confidence to. With the very best of intentions, I noticed I wasn’t outfitted to be that individual then, however now I can and will likely be. Elayna teaches us how one can change into that protected individual, empowering us to assist these grappling with suicidal ideas. Elayna’s message is a crucial name to motion, displaying us how we are able to really make a distinction in somebody’s life.”
“Elayna has the distinctive potential to succeed in individuals’s souls whereas delivering sensible tricks to change their lives. Affirming these of us that suffer the illness of suicidal pondering is essential on this planet right now to tell us we’re not alone.”
“Dr. Elayna’s heartfelt matter moved me to tears. I felt knowledgeable, convicted, and empowered to be the SAFE individual she talks about. Sadly, suicide is a world downside and we can’t afford to stay uninformed.”
“Her statements are eye-opening and her discuss teaches us how one can assist people who find themselves hurting. They’re in all places and could also be nearer than you assume.”
“Dr. Elayna Fernandez’s highly effective speech on suicide prevention not solely highlighted the significance of being a SAFE individual but in addition impressed us to take motion and doubtlessly save lives.”
“I admire her vulnerability and openness to deal with the usually ignored and stigmatized problem of suicide. She educates her viewers on how one can be a protected individual and offers tips for supportive communication, highlighting how we are able to all play a job in stopping suicide and supporting those that are struggling.”
I’m deeply grateful for the chance to carry hope to individuals all around the world by way of my books, talks, and coaching applications, and to assist those that wish to do the identical in changing into transformational storytellers.
What resonated most with you about my discuss? To view the remainder of the talks, go to the Transformational Storytellers channel on YouTube, and to take step one in changing into a Transformational Storyteller, go to TransformationalStorytellers.com
Founding father of the Constructive MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share highly effective tales that can remodel your outcomes and assist others do the identical. Dr. Elayna Fernández is a single mother of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Scholar of Ache. She’s a bestselling creator, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 5x TEDx speaker. She has spoken on the United Nations, obtained the President’s Volunteer Lifetime Achievement Award, and was chosen as one of many High Impactful Leaders and a Girl of Affect by SUCCESS Journal. Join with Elayna at thepositivemom.com/ef and comply with @thepositivemom. To obtain a present from Elayna, click on HERE.
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